We had hoped after such a long lay-off that more members would write in with interesting stories or queries but as you will see it's the same old culprits who feel the need to pen to paper (or in this technologically challenging age - put finger to keypad!)
First a mail from a concerned anonymous member:
| To: admin@stationmasters.org.uk Subject: CAPTAIN HOLLAND |
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Dear Sir, |
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Dear Anon,
We are also concerned for the wellbeing of Captain Holland. Despite others, including his big brother, jumping to his defence when this matter was raised some time ago, it is quite clear that the current economic crisis is hitting where it hurts most - in his wardrobe! I know it is hard to believe, but this shirt has been around for several years now as evidenced in the photographs below. Could it be that Captain Holland is trying to set an example to us all in frugality and parsimonious behaviour in an effort to redress the excesses of contemporary society. Who knows? Certainly not the Committee! With regard to a 'whip round', we suspect that Captain Holland's problem is more psychological than monetary!
Yours unsympathetically, THE COMMITTEE.
Royal Troon 2004 Smoker 2006 Smoker 2007 Smoker 2008
And now a mail from an old favourite:
From: petecoutie@live.co.uk
To: admin@stationmasters.org.uk
Subject: committee golfers
Unaccustomed as i am to complaining about the committee, i must
point out something that has been bothering club members - the lack of
participation of committee members in weekly/monthly sweepies and medals.
It came as a complete surprise therefore to find that a holder of high
office (who in the time honoured tradition will remain nameless) despite being
unemployable, sorry unemployed, always states he is working hard and unable to
participate, found it acceptable and preferrable to disappear on a "golfing"
weekend in Machrihanish of all places.
We pride ourselves as being an all inclusive club, prepared to accept all
standards of golfers and where people are not judged and have no need to feel
embarrassed about their forays on the green sward, so it is particurarly galling
that the aforementioned committee member resorted to travel for miles and hours
to apply the hickory to the feathers and reveal his particular brand of golf
unseen by human eye.
I would hope that in the coming season that there is more participation from
Jim, and other committee members, actually playing golf and less of the talk
about what might have been and how they would have done, and less standing on
the outside looking in at the golfers who play week in and week out, with
varying degrees of success. There is nothing to be afraid of.
I have not consulted all the members about this message but am sure that the
majority would concur with its sentiments.
Dear Peter,
It is so nice to hear from you again! We see however, in the intervening period since your last communication that your grammar and spelling certainly have not improved any. Perhaps you should address this in the future by attending night classes, for example, in basic written skills or even consider turning on the spell-check function on your pc. Anyway, to get back to the issue in question - it is completely erroneous to imply that "the holder of high office" as you refer to him, who shall remain nameless, would rather go off on some 'jolly' to the other side of the Country than play in a weekly sweepie. The fact is that the trip to Macrihanish was organised under the auspices of the Station Masters and Vice Captain Simpson was tasked by the Committee (at great expense to himself) to accompany the participants with a view to ensuring that the integrity and honour of the Club was upheld at all times. It would have been nice had more members, such as yourself, decided to participate in the outing and escape for once, the comfort zone of Saturday afternoon golf, with the same four at same old time, same boring routine.... As for the other Committee members you refer to in your rant, I think you will find all play regularly, apart from one who shall remain nameless. Yes, Captain Campbell must be the only club captain in history never to have played in a weekly sweepie or monthly medal! Since we are on the subject, may we take this opportunity to tell you about our new 'Micro-novel' feature coming soon, starting with "THE SCINTILLATING SIX GO GOLFING AT SMUGGLERS COVE" by Jim Blyton. The micro-novel is based on real-life experiences and the characters are shown below. We hope that you and the rest of the members you claim to represent continue to enjoy your weekly routine (sorry game) and allow the Committee to get on with what it does best.
Yours literaturely, THE COMMITTEE
