Reader's Letters
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Every week we will publish a
selection of reader's e-mails along with the Committee's response. So keep these
mails coming in folks.
First this
week, a mail from a guilty party who is obviously trying to deflect criticism
from himself:
From:
"Peter Coutie" <peter.coutie@jtcfurnituregroup.co.uk> 
To: <admin@stationmasters.org.uk>
Subject: Lack of respect |
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It hurts me to point
out a complete lack of respect shown by one of the committee members
(who shall remain nameless) during a very entertaining speech by Brian
McCartney at our recent prize-giving. It can be clearly seen in the
photograph of the top table that the Captain is fast asleep.
Is this a result of
his age or (as would appear more than likely) the result of the abuse
of the tab for the top table, (note 2 pints of 80/- and the contented
smile). I hope no offence was taken by our guest speaker and that
there will be no repetition of this disgraceful behaviour.
Questions are
already being asked if it is time to consider a younger person for the
Captains post, one who does not rely on alcohol to get through the
day.
Yours
concernedly
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Dear Mr Coutie,
We are shocked that you see fit to pillory
our illustrious Captain in this manner. We do concede however that he is getting
on in years but photographic evidence (made available to us... and shown below),
clearly indicates that the Captain was in a highly alert and alcohol free state
during Brian's wonderful allegory (which is more than can be said for other
members of the club). It is indeed very disconcerting to discover that someone
seems to be circulating fake photos in an attempt to undermine the very
principles on which the Club has been built - that of a dictatorship! You
will see from the following mail that our next correspondent has highlighted
this very disturbing phenomenon. Please be assured that this matter is receiving the
full attention of the Committee.
Yours investigatingly, THE COMMITTEE.
FAKE PICTURE
GENUINE PICTURE
and a mail
from someone with similar concerns:
> From: Muir, David
> Sent: 14 December 2007 17:01
> To: 'admin@stationmasters.org,uk'
> Subject: Annual Dinner
>
> I wish to take this opportunity to thank and congratulate the committee
> for organising the recent successful and enjoyable dinner and presentation
> of prizes. However it is with dismay when I saw the winners photograph in
> the Courier, It appears that someone has made some electronic air brush
> changes to the photograph, which quite frankly is in poor taste. Firstly
> we have Alfie Boath with a smile, wee Stan looking average height, Capt
> Campbell appearing sober, but most unbelievable, is that a fez and
> sunglasses have been added onto Robert Low !. I trust the committee will
> get to the bottom of this, apologise to Mr Low and ensure they carefully
> scrutinise any future photographs for press release.
>
> Yours in sport,
>
> David (Des) Muir FTAS
>
> PS. As I cannae be bothered sending cards this year, can I take this
> opportunity to wish all fellow members a Merry Christmas and a happy
> healthy new year.
Dear Mr Muir,
Thank you for your recent mail - and
please accept our apologies that your thoughtful, if not extremely grippy method
of wishing your fellow members the 'compliments of the season' is slightly late
in publication! As pointed out to our last correspondent, we are concerned that
the electronic manipulation of photographs is undermining the integrity of the
Club. Please remember however that all may not be as it seems - Mr Boath's new
employment and the recent all expenses paid caddies night out at the Italian
restaurant has seen him smile at least once or twice. Captain Campbell, as we
have seen, was drinking Coke all night and as sober as a judge. Unfortunately
Stan and Rab seem to have fallen victim to the 'photo doctor'. In an attempt to
redress this position, we have published below photos of the pair as they
actually appeared on the night.
Yours beingfairly,
THE COMMITTEE
Lifesized Stan
Rab's best side
and finally
this week - a mail from a regular complainant:
Dear Captain Holland,
I'm afraid 'jealousy' with regard to your
shirt is probably the wrong emotive description in this case. We had thought
along the lines of 'pity', given that you obviously can't afford any new
clothes. In fact, it seems that the problem is somewhat worse than we originally
thought. A recent review of archive photos (copy below) revealed that at a
Station Masters outing to the Open in Troon in 2004 - you've guessed it....
the same shirt, albeit in a slightly newer condition! Ironically, we would
remind you that on the very same day, in an advanced state of inebriation, you
lost a brand new jersey, a present from your lovely wife. We can only assume she
doesn't trust you with new clothing any longer.
Yours sue ryderly, THE COMMITTEE.
Captain Holland - smokin and drinkin in that
shirt
P.S. Please be advised that we have
declined to add the link to the video clip which you obviously find so amusing.
We cannot condone the gratuitous exploitation of defenceless animals in the name
of comedy (even computer generated exploitation). Anyway - everyone knows that
chimpanzees and not Michael Flatley invented Irish dancing. Can we further
remind you that this is serious Golf Club website and will not be used as a
vehicle for light-hearted banter!
KEEP THE
MAILS COMING IN FOLKS - MORE NEXT WEEK
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