Let us know what you think ....... send a mail today!
First - a mail from one of the outing contestants:
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Elliot Davie <emcdavie@yahoo.co.uk>
To: admin@stationmasters.org
Sent: Wed, 16 June, 2010 15:38:58
Subject: Club OutingDear Captain
I had the honour and privilege to be marking ex Vice Captain, Captain Neil Holland's score card at the outing.
After dismissing the unkind, nay cruel, comments of some of his fellow competitors when he picked his own card for the 'sweepie', Captain Holland bravely said that he would have to try harder now!
In his winning speech, Neil said,'I knew I was going to have to play well but I didn't realise I was going to be exceptional.' Such modesty.
Unfortunately, several pints of lager and a large glass of wine meant that his judgement became somewhat impaired - demanding that 'Gardeners' Question Time' be put on the radio on the way home and, shame of shames, verbally abusing a charity worker as we travelled down Queen Street.
As a final comment on the outing, I would have to wonder whether new Secretary Coutie is really up to the job. The event apparently went without a hitch. This man needs a serious talking to so that this never happens again.
Yours in golf
Vice Captain 'Slim' Davie
Dear 'Slim' thanks very much for your mail - the first we've received for some time. I am glad that you volunteered to accompany ex Vice Captain, Captain Holland in your buggy at the latest outing - someone had to! As you point out, his winning speech was breathtakingly modest. Its amazing how the lure of a prize of drink will spur people on to greater heights as was obviously the case in this instance, having selected himself in the sweepie. As regards abusing the charity worker in Queen Street, it is of course in-excusable but we have to bear in mind that Captain Holland has previous 'form' in this regard and I think you have 'hit the nail on the head' when you cite the possible reason for his erratic behaviour as being 'excessive drinking'. Unfortunately, I fear he is now probably beyond help! Lastly, your assessment that Secretary Coutie carried off the event 'without a hitch', leads me to believe that you had also been drinking to excess. He did nothing to inform staff at the club that the Captain and Match Secretary had been unavoidably detained and would be arriving slightly late, resulting in the hapless duo being presented with cold bacon rolls and cold watery coffee on arrival. Obviously a conspiracy to un-settle perhaps two of the finest players prior to the match. Apart from this and one or two other howlers, he did 'no bad'.
Yours critically, Captain Simpson.
and now a mail from someone looking for inspiration:
"Peter Coutie" <Peter.Coutie Save Addresses
To:
ids@eatoncottage.freeserve.co.uk Date:
Jul 01 2010, 01:06 PM Subject:
Wilmotts Way I was watching the Captain playing during the recent outing and was amazed at his golfing prowess, when asked how he honed his skills he just replied "Wilmotts Way". Are there any more Wilmotts Way videos in the pipeline? because if they can improve even our Captains performance they must surely help to improve the skills of anyone with a modicum of talent.
Secretary Coutie.
Dear Sec Coutie, It is obvious that your thinly disguised attempt to belittle the masterly skills of our illustrious Captain stems from the sense of frustration and desperation currently surrounding your own level of competence. In reply to your query, we hope that Bruce will be in a position to offer yourself and the members some further helpful advice in the near future. You have to bear in mind however that Bruce is a 'real' professional, (unlike Steve Logan) and is extremely busy, especially at this time of year.
Yours informingly,
The rest of the Committee
KEEP THE MAILS COMING IN - THEY WILL ALL BE PUBLISHED (subject to committee censorship)